20 Sex Tips Every Couple Should Know

By Dr. Ruth Westheimer















Could your sex life use a boost? You're not the only one. Over the years, I've been asked every question there is, from getting in the mood to learning how to become orgasmic. That's why I've put together 20 of my best tips right here. Here's to many more years of better sex!

1. Communicate with your partner about your sexual relationship. This is the most important tip I can give because it will strengthen the bond between you. While it might feel uncomfortable at first, you'll feel even closer in the end. Tell him what you like most about your sex life. Don't be afraid to ask for something new or different. Just be sure that you don't talk about major sexual issues while you are about to have sex or having sex. Bring up such topics outside of the bedroom, during a quiet walk some evening. That way you can air your feelings without spoiling an intimate moment.

2. Start foreplay as early as possible. Foreplay can begin as early as the morning of the night when you expect to have sex. Linger over your morning kiss instead of rushing off with a peck. During the day, do little things for each other: Give him a quick call at work or send him a sweet email. When he gets home, massage his shoulders for a couple of minutes. By increasing your emotional connection, you'll slowly start the arousal process, gradually increasing your level of arousal all day -- and all night.

3. During the day, remember that you are a sexual being. Even on the most hectic of days, take a few moments to think about your lover and maybe indulge in a quick sexual fantasy.

4. Make plans for sex. When both halves of a couple lead busy lives, sometimes the only way to leave time for sex is to literally put it on your schedule.

5. Don't forget that sex is supposed to be fun. The more fun you make it, the more enjoyable it will be. Experiment with toys and lingerie, or anything that creates a special mood for you. Memorable sex isn't limited to times when you have the most intense orgasms; it just has to be memorable in some positive way.

6. Start with a trip to the supermarket. Buy only items that could be integrated into love play, like whipped cream, chocolate sauce and maybe a banana or cucumber. Not only will you both be very aroused when you get home, but you'll probably get quite a laugh from the look on the face of the checkout clerk.

7. Take turns initiating sex. Sex should be fun for both parties, and getting things started should be just as equal -- and just as enjoyable. And just because you're not in the mood, that shouldn't stop you. Chances are your body will react to his and you'll become aroused in the process. Isn't Mother Nature great?

8. Remember that sexual stimulation is directly linked to intellectual stimulation. If you want to have sex later that night, be sure to spend time talking to each other first. Instead of watching TV in different rooms, tape your favorite show and spend some time together. Read some poems to each other, discuss the day's headlines, plan your next vacation or pull out an album of old photos.

9. Try to guess each other's thoughts. Can you actually read your lover's mind? Probably not, but why not give it a try? Maybe you'll discover that you really are on the same wavelength.

10. Pretend that this is the last time you're going to see each other for quite some time. We've all seen those heart-wrenching pictures of soldiers saying goodbye to their wives as they go off to active duty. The next time you're with your partner, hold him or her in your arms and put yourselves in those shoes, or Army boots as it were. The emotions you'll feel will, I believe, give you a new appreciation for each other.

11. Make a list of favorites. Everybody has favorite -- favorite colors, flowers, flood, etc. Do you know your partner's favorite bedroom activities? Take a piece of paper and make two columns. On one, write down what you like best, and on the other, write what you think he likes best. Then switch and read each other's lists aloud.

12. Make even household chores sexy. If doing the laundry is a chore you don't like, here's a way to make it more interesting: Whoever takes on this duty has the right to request a striptease from his or her partner en route to the washing machine.

13. Keep time. How long does your partner like to have a particular body part licked, caressed, nibbled or otherwise tended to? Find out by using a stopwatch. The experiment should be fun the first time, plus just think of how handy that information will be in the future.

14. Get up and dance. Sitting at home, looking at each other with nothing to do? Put a CD on and dance. It will get your blood flowing, and who knows what that will lead to?

15. Share your novel ideas. If you're hesitant to share your erotic fantasies with your partner, afraid of what he or she will think of you, suggest writing an erotic story together one night. Once he sees what you've dreamed up for your "characters," your partner will definitely get the hint about what you have in mind for yourself.

16. Overcome RE (rental embarrassment). If you are embarrassed to rent an erotic video in your local rental outlet because you're afraid you'll be seen by someone you know, drive a few miles away and rent one someplace where you don't know anybody. Or better yet, buy one online or use a rental company with a delivery service.

17. Create a classic -- but don't keep it around for too long. If you find it exciting to tape yourselves making love, go ahead. But after you've watched the tape a few times, be sure to erase it so that it doesn't fall into the wrong hands.

18. Make intercourse more orgasmic. Many women don't get sufficient clitoral stimulation from intercourse in the missionary position to have an orgasm. But if she's on top, her partner's hands are free to stroke her clitoris, which might be just what she needs to have an orgasm.

19. Caution, clitoris ahead. Though the clitoris is the seat of a woman's orgasm, some women find that direct contact is too strong and prefer to have the area around the clitoris stroked rather than the clitoris itself.

20. Skimp on the alcohol for better sex later. While a glass of wine, or even two, can be relaxing and lead to improved sex after a hectic day, too much alcohol dulls the senses. So while sex and alcohol can mix, just be careful not to drown your desire

The Amazing Heath Benefits Of Sex

By Juice at happyher.com

I am absolutely passionate about sex and living a sensual lifestyle! The passion for me is not just because it feels SO good, which is a great bonus. It’s also because of the many health increasing benefits. Let’s look at some of these:

* Having sex improves your sense of smell. After sex, production of the hormone prolactin surges which causes stem cells in the brain to develop new neurons in the brain’s olfactory bulb, which is your brain’s smell center.

* Having sex reduces your risk of heart disease. In a 2001 follow-on to the Queens University study mentioned above, researchers focused on cardiovascular health. They found that having sex three or more times a week, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half.

* Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones just about every muscle in the body. A vigorous bout burns some 200 calories–about the same as running 15 minutes on a treadmill. Sex also boosts production of testosterone, which leads to stronger bones and muscles. Men’s Health magazine has gone so far as to call the bed the single greatest piece of exercise equipment ever invented.

* Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases the chemical endorphin into the bloodstream that gives you a sense of euphoria and well-being.

* Sex is a great for relieving pain. Levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times their normal level right before you orgasm. The surge of oxytocin releases endorphins, which alleviate the pain of everything from headache, arthritis, and even migraines. For women, sex also prompts production of estrogen, which can reduce the pain of PMS and make the whole menstrual process go more smoothly with reduced symptoms. The hormone DHEA also spikes to five times its normal level and this is associated with longevity, enhanced libido, building muscle mass, and warding off depression.

* Sex improves your immune system. Wilkes University in Pennsylvania says people that have sex once or twice a week show a thirty percent higher level of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, which is known to boost the immune system.

* Oral sex helps give you healthier teeth. Seminal plasma contains zinc, calcium and other minerals shown to retard tooth decay.

* Sex helps keep the prostate healthy. Some urologists believe they see a relationship between infrequency of ejaculation and cancer of the prostate. Be careful with this one guys. Having sex with multiple partners can, all by itself, raise a man’s risk of cancer by up to 40%. That’s because he runs an increased risk of contracting sexual infections. You are better off doing it solo if you don’t have a monogamous partner. A study recently published by the British Journal of Urology International asserts that men in their 20s can reduce their chance of getting prostate cancer by ejaculating more than five times a week by third.

* Sex is the perfect beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when woman make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which make hair shiny and skin smooth. For both men and women, it reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes, and blemishes due to the sweat that’s produced when you’re engaging in it. It cleanses your pores and makes your skin glowing.

* Sex makes you more attractive. When you are sexually active, your body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones which naturally attract others to you.

* Sex is 10 times more effective than valium. It’s the safest tranquilizer in the world.

* Sex helps you breathe better. Sex is a natural antihistamine which helps combat asthma and hay fever.

* Sex helps your intimate relationship. Taking time to create wonderful sexual experiences for your partner increases your emotional, mental, and spiritual bonds with them. Don’t forget those same benefits can be applied to yourself!

All of these great things going for sex and it’s fun and feels SO good. So, put sex at the top of your priority list of your Daily Things to Do. We’ll explore lots of different ways to do it, how to use toys, and how to stay in the mood, and whatever else we think of to help your sex life explode with possibilities!

Note: For lotions, potions, lingerie, and other tools to help you enhance your sex life, visit www.SassyPartyGirl.com.

Let's Get The Party Started

As of today, I've been with Brown Bag Party for 32 months. That's not a terribly long time, but I do regard it as a milestone, considering I've never stayed in any one J.O.B. for more than 24-25 months.

So, what's so different for me now? I'd have to say that I have found the perfect marriage between my personal mission in life and a continual desire to be challenged. Primarily through in-home parties, I sell romance products for women and couples and provide an educational service for my guests.

My personal mission is to evoke positive change in the lives of others, to help them help themselves, so to speak. I've heard many accounts of how something one of my guest heard or learned at a party made a huge change in their lives.

The challenges of my work are evident almost every day, from dealing with hostesses, my team, my duties as an advisory board member, and balancing my work life with my personal one. Like with any other job, there are frustrations, but at the end of the day, I'm happy in knowing I am living my mission and following my heart.